As I rode home on the bus yesterday from the college where I teach, an unexpected realization opened within me. My bus ride is not particularly conducive to thoughtful reflection. There are a lot of loud students, the roads are bumpy, and the bus is often crowded; so you can see that the ride does not attract emergent understanding. From what I can tell, three things allowed this novel way of seeing to appear for me.
First, I have been making my way through the Dune hexalogy again. My initial encounter with the books occurred at 14 or 15. At that point in time, I was fascinated by the messianic arc of the narrative. Rereading them now, I am discovering many insights that were hidden from my ability to understand in the past. While on the bus yesterday, I was reading a section that dealt with the educational practices of the Bene Gesserit sisterhood, a millenial old "quasi-religious" order of nuns. In describing their understanding of the universe, Lady Jessica says the following,
"To learn patience in the Bene Gesserit Way, you must begin by recognizing the essential, raw instability of our universe. We call nature - meaning this totality in all of its manifestations - the Ultimate Non-Absolute."
The raw December light of the afternoon filtered through a hazy sky and danced in patterns on the faces of the students I saw.
Second, when I ride the bus I wear headphones (see note above about noisy students). Yesterday, I was listening to a new discovery, Grant Green's impeccable album, Green Street. With an unmistakable style, Green weaves his way through the music. While I listened to "No. 1 Green Street," I recognized the flow that emerged from Green's guitar. The jazz and blues inflected style that he develops seems infinitely variable. The rhythm, tone, and style were perfect because they were unforced. Grant was not trying, he was simply doing what he was doing.
The raw December light of the afternoon filtered through a hazy sky and danced in patterns on the faces of the students I saw.
Third, because I have been working on my body, I am becoming more aware of what is happening within me. This embodiment allows me to recognize patterns in the world. The flow of my attention was focused and centred and pure and light. I have been developing a way to recognize moments of optimal attention through identifying particular internal emotional landscapes.
The raw December light of the afternoon filtered through a hazy sky and danced in interesting patterns upon the faces of the students I saw.
What I saw and understood yesterday was change, but it was not simply change in relation to stability. I know the infinite variation that change is. Instead of attempting to calculate and classify the changes, I saw through the changes to the changing of change.